(By Liza). The children have left home and there’s just the two of you wandering around in the house. Its time to face each other again and see if you still get on…
Talking to friends recently, at least three of them have been reassessing their relationships with their husbands/wives/partners.
The dynamics have changed so does the relationship still work?
Perhaps you find yourself questioning whether you still get on all those years later, is there anything left and is the chemistry still there ?
It can be difficult to tackle problems that may have been put on the back burner whilst bringing up children. So maybe when the time comes to reassess things too much damage has been done and its irreparable, but you live with it anyway, or maybe what was once a problem has become insignificant and you are able to move on as a couple. Either way it seems to be that many people in their 40’s and 50’s are asking themselves questions such as “do I still like him/her?”
One of my friends has decided that she no longer loves her husband but “can’t be bothered” to leave him, they have discussed the situation and he admits to feeling much the same so they have decided to lead separate lives under the same roof. I don’t know if this will work but at least they are being honest with each other (so far!).
Another friend says she would love to live on her own, she went as far as saying she hated her husband, but she just can’t afford to leave and so she will put up with things the way they are as she has managed it for years. But I can see that she is extremely unhappy at home and I wonder how long it can last.
There must be numerous people living under miserable conditions who just can’t find a way to leave their partners or have become lackadaisical and I do wonder if this is a healthy way to live your life? Who am I to say, we all deal with things differently…Or maybe you have managed to keep the magic of a great relationship going…well good for you!