No Such Thing As Forever…

© Zhuzhi

When a friend of my daughter’s split up with her husband and I commented that I thought they’d be together forever, my daughter retorted “there’s no such thing as forever anymore Mum!”  How very sad, but is it true? And does that slip of paper [the marriage certificate] make it more likely that a couple will survive long-term, or has marriage become an out-dated concept?

When I got married 33 years ago I suspect many people thought we wouldn’t last. My husband was only 23 and I wasn’t much older, just two weeks shy of my 26th birthday.

Close friends tried to talk us out of it but we were adamant that we needed to be married and nothing could stop us.

Although we attend more funerals than weddings these days, we went to one a couple of weekends ago. The happy couple – who were in their fifties – had been together almost 20 years; so why did they decide to get married after all those years? The cynical side of me suspected that having both recently lost their parents, they did it for tax purposes. After all the taxman still penalises unmarried couples when one of them dies. But the romantic in me decided that they finally felt ready. They were both Lexicographers and much was made in the speeches of the definition of marriage and the fact that The Oxford English Dictionary has recently revised its definition to include same sex marriage.

In fact in his speech, the groom said that two of the most looked up words in the dictionary were “love” and “marriage”…

Does this suggest that despite the fact that the number of people getting hitched each year has been slowly declining since the 1970s, there is still an appetite for marriage?

Call me old fashioned but I still believe in marriage as an institution whether the wedding vows are taken in a church or as part of a civil ceremony. Sharing your life with a partner isn’t always plain sailing but by getting married a couple are making a commitment to spend their lives together through thick and thin; they are agreeing to love, respect and support each other, and to grow old side by side. What can be wrong with that as an ethos?



One thought on “No Such Thing As Forever…

  1. I recently married my childhood sweet heart of 9 years. I also like to agree with the romantic notion behind marriage. Although we already have a house and dog together we would like to declare our love, support and commitment to each other with all of our friends and family present to show to them our commitment and hopefully receive their support for the future.
    Although a romantic I am not as traditionalist, as I whole heartidly believe in the try before you buy!!! In the 9 years before we got married we had some huge challenges (family problems, job losses and buying a house) I don’t think we would have been as successful if we had got married so early on. That said the financial hit that comes with a wedding does tend to affect things! Especially as the average wedding costs £20 000 (ours was nowhere near that)! If handed £20 000 I would not have got married I would be sat in the kitchen of my dreams with a family holiday booked! But hey what do I know we are still in the honeymoon period 🙂

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